Nice.

parislemon:

I’ve been asked a number of times to post my iPhone homescreen — Dan Frommer’s post on his new site, SplatF reminded me — so here it is.

Jailbreak this fucker.

My mom decides not to text me back when I wanna go somewhere. Apparently, she’s too busy.

She’s a cook at a fast-food place.

Happy a happy Independence Day, children.

I ask out the girl of my dreams and she says that she doesn’t want to be in a relationship.

I think that’s just another way of saying that she doesn’t like me.

This should be fun.

theclearlydope:

I tell you what Dave, you find a way to give her back her self respect and the leg is yours. 

Beautiful.

bobbyfinger:

Joan: If God had a name, what would it be?

Me: Trevor.

Joan: And would you call it to his face?

Me: Yes, but behind his back I’d call him Gwyneth.

Joan: If you were faced with him in all his glory, what would you ask if you had just one question?

Me: Why do phone…

This made me laugh.

I am forced to stay at home in the heat, while my mother and her boyfriend fuck upstairs. Apparently, all my friends are too busy to hang out.